Before I became a Dad, I'd skip the "Children's Food" section without thinking twice. Now it's where I go right after "Meats".
Let's zoom in:
After looking at the sandwich selection on the opposite page, I can all but guarantee a depressing moment for any kid whose mom read this cookbook.
Except for the bacon sandwich (bacon!), if I opened my school lunch box and found any of the other sandwiches I would have slammed the lid down and fled the gym in terror. Just check out these sandwich descriptions.
Oh man, nothing says "you'll sit at the end of the table by yourself" than "salmon salad". And I almost choked on mine when I saw "tongue on whole wheat". That's not a lunch, it's a punishment. You'd have to sit next to the girl who smelled like liverwurst.
Then there's the baked bean sandwich. Not only does that sound horrible, it would be a mess to try to eat. By the second bite I would've had the filling in my lap and a new, terrible nickname to boot. "Smooth move, Bean Crotch!"
When I was in elementary school, the worst things served at lunch were wet, hairy plums. I can still hear the whispered warning from the kid sitting next to me, "Don't eat those. They're cow balls..." But after reading this cookbook, I consider myself lucky.
"More cow balls, please."
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