More Than Meets the Eye

I took this picture of Char's bedside table last week. The main point of this pic was the water tumbler. 

Char didn't want a trendy, Stanley Tumbler. She wanted a Stanley Dupe (look-alike) tumbler from Five Below. The problem is that Stanley Tumblers are so popular that even the dupes fly off the shelves. When someone at school told her that a new shipment would be arriving that evening, Char texted if we could go tomorrow after school?

I doubted they would still be there tomorrow, and I also doubted that the Five Below website was accurate. I drove over to the mall after school while Char was in Drama Club. Here's our text conversation:

Okay! That's a dad-win, and those are harder to come by with a teenage girl. I mostly get yelled at. To keep my streak going, we sat down at the computer and searched etsy.com for the right Stanley Dupe Sticker. 

Here's Char's pick:

Yelnats is Stanley spelled backwards, and instead of a royal bear, there's a royal lizard. That's a clever reference to the book and movie Holes.

I took the picture while the sticker was still in place, and the tumbler was still in good shape. Things like this don't last forever. But that isn't why I like this picture so much. It's everything else in the picture.

In the foreground on the left is Char's first case for her first set of eyeglasses. Picking those out was quite a task, and Char is still proud of her choice. 

Char has braces, and that's her headgear that goes along with them in the middle. 

To the right of that is my old Tomy Pocket Obstacle Course that I was playing with back when I wore braces and headgear. I didn't remember that Char even had it. 

On the far right is her folding fidget square. She's grown out of her fidget phase, so it's fun to see one pop up now and again. 

Above the fidget is a plastic turtle that used to float in her bathtub. He's always dry now, but he still makes an appearance in her room once in awhile. 

To the right of the dupe is a framed postcard from our trip to Canada last summer. It's from Dartmouth, and that's where Daphne and I sat for an hour on a park bench watching our daughter unsuccessfully trying to catch a wild, but mostly tame, duck. 

Above the dupe is a cat sticker that was applied to the wall in one of Char's first attempts of decorating her room all by herself. That was years ago, and I think this is the sole surviving sticker.

Some people might look at this picture and see a silly cup on a messy nightstand. Instead, I see our daughter's past, where she is now, and hints of where she's going. I can see my past on there, too. I'm so glad I took this picture.

Things like this don't last forever.

One Thing I Won't Miss

We keep a digital photo frame by our front door. My mother-in-law gave me the frame. It sits on a music cabinet that Daphne's grandpa made. That way we keep it all in the family. The frame displays pictures from Char's first day, her birthdays, her school days, our family vacations, holidays, and other fun odds and ends. 

The pictures are mostly in chronological order, and sometimes I'll get stuck standing in front of the frame watching baby pictures of Charlotte crawl by. 

It makes my heart ache with a mixture of love, pride, and loss. 

The feelings of love and the pride are easy to explain. The feeling of loss is a bit trickier. It stems from the passage of time. 

I'll use a running analogy. I used to be a runner: marathons, road races, running clubs... the whole bit. That was over ten years ago. I see people running now, and I think Man, I miss being a runner. That looks like so much fun. 

Here's the thing; it's been so long since I've run anywhere that I forgot how grueling running can be. You have to deal with unexpected injuries, sore muscles, endless hills, fighting dehydration, aching feet, and uneven pavement. I've fought my way through pouring rain, extreme cold, high winds, and even hail. It can be so exhausting. Running is not for the faint of heart. It is hard work.

The same goes for parenting. I look at those early pictures and I forget about all the tough stuff. You have to deal with unexpected injuries, unexpected illnesses, and unexpected dirty diapers. There's the endless screaming, the endless crying, and the endless nights that go with them. Your days are filled with binkies, bath times, and Bubble Guppies. And there's that real fear that you'll lose their favorite pacifier or stuffed animal, and your world will end. It can be so exhausting. Parenting is not for the faint of heart. It is hard work.

But then I walk by that digital picture frame and see baby Charlotte smiling at me. That's when all the memories of that work washes away, and I think Man, I miss having a toddler. That looks like so much fun. 

And that's when my feelings of loss kick in. I won't have a toddler again. Those days are gone. Time moves in only one direction, and each picture is a landmark that cannot be returned to. All those moments that I'll never get back flash in succession before me, and I start to fall into a rabbit hole of sadness. 

Do you know what saves me from my despair?

These damn things.

These horrible grocery carts remind me that having a little one wasn't always fun and games. 

Char had just turned three years old when we moved into our new neighborhood. She was about two years younger than the youngest neighbor living there, and she wasn't included in a lot of their playgroup games. One child had a battery-powered car that could carry two children. 

The kid would drive by our house with a passenger, and they would shout at Charlotte who was standing in our driveway. They'd yell, "Hi, Charlotte." Char would shout a hopeful "Hi!" in return, but they never stopped, and they never offered her a ride. It was just a quick wave and a giggle and off they'd go down the sidewalk. 

I hated that car. 

I also think that car was the reason we would have to get the "race car" every time we went grocery shopping with our daughter. It was finally her chance to get a ride. 

There are the three reasons why I also hated these carts.

1) The Competition. 

We usually went grocery shopping on weekends. There could be up to 15 little kids in the store and only three racing carts. Char would be crushed when we didn't get a race car and another kid in one would glide past us with a wave and a giggle. More than once I have stopped driving in the parking lot to let Daphne get out to run to the cart corral and grab a racer before some other parent did. That's way too much pressure on you when all you really want is a gallon of milk.

"Quick! Go grab it! Trip that other mom if you have to!"

2) They're unwieldily. 

Check out the wheel placement on this cart. The wheels in the middle (under the 32) are in a fixed position to roll straight. The front and rear wheels rotate. This makes the racer cart turn much differently that a regular shopping cart. It should be second nature to push one of these around, but it's not. I'd turn wildly into end caps, bang into freezer doors, and sideswipe other people's carts. Trying to turn around in the middle of the aisle was a nightmare. I could ram another customer or swipe boxes of cereal off of a shelf. It was embarrassing. I felt like an idiot. To make things worse, Charlotte would scold me, "Daaad! Steer better!"

3) They're uncomfortable. 

Look at that cockpit. There's hardly any room. If your kid's feet touch the "floor" their knees are going to be pressed right against the cart's basket. Despite her insistence, even at three Char's legs were already too long for her to easily fit in there. Her discomfort made her crabby, and she could dissolve into a teary fit. More than once I had to take our crying child out to our real car to get her to calm down. 

For me, these carts are a healthy reminder that sometimes a parent just can't win, and it's better to look forwards than backwards. 

But I'm not giving up my picture frame. 

Scratchy, But Very Playable

Before I begin this post, I'd like to state for the record that I do buy new records. I was a member of Vinyl Me, Please and Vinyl Moon. I buy new records from Bandcamp, Discogs, Amazon, and eBay. I also buy new records at local record stores and record shows. 

BUT, that's not as fun as scoring used LPs out in the wild, wild, west of thrift. The new and used LPs in record stores, at shows, and online are organized, categorized, and alphabetized. No surprises there. 

You never know what you are going to find out in the wild. For every 100 religious records, you might come across one or two interesting specimens. There's a How did you even get here? aspect that is surprising and fun. If the LP is great shape that's an added bonus. I've found pristine LPs that are actually worth 30 times or more than what I paid. There's quite a rush when that happens.

With this mind, I'll explain why I've stopped ignoring scratched up and beat up records.

Usually I'd skip this Shades of Deep Purple LP. The vinyl is visibly scratched. The worn, outer sleeve has splits on the top, side, and bottom. That used to put me off. Now I pause before I flip to the next LP in the box on the bottom of a Goodwill shelf.

I ask myself, Should I give this bad boy a chance? 

I also ask myself some other questions to determine an answer:  1) Do I know the artist? 2) What is the artist's genre? 3) What is their style? 4) When was this recorded? 5) What condition is the vinyl in? 6) What condition is the sleeve in?

Notice which questions are last.

Dirt and debris do not deter me. I wet-vacuum clean almost all of my thrift records before I play them. If I see a feel-able scratch or a deep warp, then I'll pass. I hate it when a record skips. I'll also move on if it's covered with a haze of scratches. The rest really is up to chance. Some scratched thrift store LPs sound really good. Others not so much. It's really hard to know just by looking. You have to buy it and test it at home.

Why throw good money at "bad" records? 

1) Why not? You're not throwing much. Used LPs around here range from 79 cents to $1.49. People throw more change than that into fountains. 

2) You are forcing yourself to focus on one artist and their one statement by buying a scratchy album. You can't fast forward or skip. Limitations can be liberating. There is just too much music out there to absorb. Narrowing your focus sharpens your perceptions.

3) It's a great way to test run a LP. A clean, scratchy record will have better highs and lows than anything you can stream. If you like the music, you can get a better idea how a nicer copy would sound on your system. 

4) These records were not created by accident. For major releases, there was a small army of people putting their record together. Most didn't put their effort and money into it because they thought it would stink. Independent records have even more loved poured into them because they were a passion project. I like to think that every record has at least one interesting track on it. 

5) There's also a chance you'll discover "new" music. Marvin Homes And The Uptights's Ooh Ooh The Dragon and other Monsters came out in 1969. I discovered it almost 50 years later as a scratchy record, and it's one of my favorite finds. I've since purchased a much better copy. I still love my original scratchy one because I listened to it like that for years. Sounds weird, but you get used to the surface noise, and it sometimes revisiting the scratchy one just feels right. 

6) You're saving a small piece of musical history. I like to think that I'm giving the record a final chance to fulfill their purpose to entertain someone once again. 

7) Used records are a good time. Grab 'em when you can.

Okay. So let's go back to the Shades of Deep Purple LP. I'm familiar with the band ("Smoke on the Water," anyone?), and I checked Discogs to see what their earlier genre and style might be.

Four styles of rock sounds good to me. I took Shades home, cleaned and air-dried it, and put it on the turntable. Man, there are some great songs on this record. I hadn't check the tracklist earlier, and I didn't realize "Hush" was on here. I forgot they even sang that song. I also didn't know they did a slow and brooding version of The Beatles' "Help" or a banger cover of "Hey Joe". 

What also stood out was the surprising sound effects. Hush begins with a lonely wolf howling in the night. "One More Rainy Day" begins in a storm, and "Help" inexplicably begins in a B-movie science lab. My favorite effect comes after the last track. When the music for "Hey Joe" ends, you can hear what I assume is a recording engineer say, "That's the one." Then you hear someone else reply, "Right." Then they yawn, stretch, and heavy foot steps travel from one ear to the other (if you're wearing headphones). A squeaky door is opened and then is slammed shut. At that moment the turntable's tone arm raises and slides back to its cradle. 

That's how you end a record.

(I find it difficult to photograph record scratches. But holding the LP in sun seems to help.)

And that's the good news. The other news is that side 1 is in decent shape. You can hear clicks and pops in-between the songs, but the music overcomes that. Side 2 is slightly rougher. That's a shame because the static almost overpowers the understated opening to "Help". The music is louder on "Hey Joe", and the noise is masked quite a bit there. 

So, I was reminded that "Hush" is a Deep Purple tune, and that they also do two cover songs that I really like. That's worth more than the $1.50 spent for sure. I'm on the lookout for a better copy of Shades, but this does work for now. 

El Chicano's self-titled LP is another example of a scratchy find. I hadn't heard of this band before.

Rock, Latin, Funk, and Soul? Sign me up! Also, this was recorded in 1973 - a sweet spot when it comes to funk records. I really like the lead track, "Tell Her She's Lovely" and the instrumental covers "What's Going On" and "We've Only Just Begun." I can say that I did not see a Carpenters cover coming. This record gives off Santana and Brazil '66 vibes.

The vinyl's surface noise wasn't obnoxious, but I found a much better copy on Discogs for only $10. The outer sleeves are really close in condition, but one on the right is the keeper. The guy on the left is going back to Goodwill so he can inspire another. 

Let's try again.

This looks a lot worse than it is. That's some serious ring wear on the cover, but that doesn't bother me. Inside, the vinyl is VG to VG+. I like this record as-is. I am not seeking out a better copy. As an added bonus, this LP is BoBo approved.

I need to explain that last part. BoBo is our cat, and he hangs out with me in basement. Years ago the Science Center of Iowa had an exhibit about sound. One of the displays stated that scientists believe that animals can hear music, but they have no idea what the animals are actually are hearing.  

I believe that animals can hear actual music although I haven't done any scientific research. BoBo leaves the room if he doesn't like what I'm playing. If he does like what's on the turntable, then he jumps up on the arm of my chair and listens.

He moves his head from speaker to speaker with the stereo effects. His ears twitch when the music changes. When he's really listening, and I try to pet him, he pulls back from my hand and meows a sharp rebuke. 

I bought the Johnny Winter album on a Saturday morning. Bo and I listened to the entire album when it was clean and dry in the afternoon. I asked him if he wanted to listen to it again when it was finished, and he just stared at me from the arm of the chair. I flipped the LP over, dropped the needle, and Bo settled in for another round.

This is what BoBo's stamp of approval looks like.

I need to point out that I'm not always successful. I like The Ventures, especially their Xmas album, but I couldn't connect with this record. I was hoping for surf music, but the instrumentals were a bit on the slow side for me. There are some interesting tracks, but nothing that I need to play again. The vinyl's scratches aren't bad, so this one will go back to Goodwill for someone else to hopefully try. Note: BoBo was nowhere to be seen when I played this...

I suppose a record snob would look at my thrift store finds and hold their nose, and that's fine. 

I think it's normal to wonder what people think about you and your interests. The thing is, you just can't let others' opinions change who you are, what you do, or what you like.

It's not easy, but you have to try to stop looking at yourself through another person's eyes and imagining how they would judge you. You can't read minds. You can't predict what people will say. And you'll never really know what they are thinking. Worrying about that is just a waste of your time. 

These records aren't, though. They're fun.