Then Daphne found a stack of her mom's women's magazines from the 70's, and that was just the distraction I needed. I don't think the articles are interesting, but I'm fascinated with the advertisements.
Here's what I wrote after I spotted this ad in the December 1975 issue of Woman's Day. To be honest, it's a bit sad that I spent so much time thinking about it.
Hey look, it's an old George Forman Gri... what?
The "Mirro-Matic WHIZ-GRID Speed Grill" came out 20 years before the "George Foreman Mean Lean Fat-Reducing Grilling Machine" was introduced in 1994. Except for the tilt of the cooking surface (the grease drips out the back instead of the front), the basic design and function of each product is the same.
But if the designs are so similar, then why didn't Mirro-Matic also sell 100 million units like the George Foreman Grill has? Why aren't there countless WHIZ-GRID Speed Grills filling up landfills and thrift stores? What could M-M done differently? I can only guess.
1. Maybe instead of inventing a new word that no one was ever going to use,
they should have found a celebrity to endorse their WHIZ-GRID Speed Grill?
In 1975, Fred Lynn was the first player to win the Rookie of the Year award and MVP in the same season, and the Associated Press named him Male Athlete of the Year.
Mr. Lynn would have been great choice for an athlete endorsement. What's more American than baseball, beef, and BBQ?
2. Instead of offering the ever popular colors of gold, avocado, or poppy, they could have jumped on the '76 Bicentennial bandwagon and gone with good 'ol red, white and blue:
3. Drop the meaningless and awkward name, "WHIZ-GRID". Who wants to walk into a department store and ask the clerk, "May I take a look at your WHIZ?"
4. Instead, play up the versatility of the grill with a baseball reference. "You can grill steaks, brats, and sandwiches, too! You'll make a triple play!"
5. Call it "Fred Lynn's Triple Play Speed Grill!" Now that's catchy! (Get it?)
6. I even made a logo:
sigh. (shakes head, repeats over and over: I need a life...)
See, I told you it was sad. No offense, Mr. Lynn.
But do you know what's sadder than spending more than an hour contemplating a kitchen tool that died 40 years ago?
I started to want one.
Seriously, as I was pacing from room to room to fridge to basement to bedroom to fridge I began thinking about owning a Mirro-Matic WHIZ-GRID Speed Grill.
That always happens to me when I don't get out of the house enough. My world becomes smaller, and my weird ideas become bigger. Soon, these thoughts stop sounding weird, and they seem to start making sense. That's when thinking about something I absolutely do not need becomes wanting something I absolutely do not need.
It's actually kinda cool in goofy sort of way.
That grill would look sweet sitting on the counter next to the antique tins Lori gave me.
It'd be funny if I put on my bellbottom jeans and made dinner on the 'whiz while we watched Brady Bunch reruns.
Since the cover opens flat, it would be easier to clean than our Foreman.
Everyone and their brother has a Foreman grill. I should stop being such a conformist. I should start cooking on a Whiz-Grid.
Then that dangerous thought rears its ugly head: Ebay! You can solve this problem!
And then comes the worst thought of all: Actually, $64.95 isn't that bad of a deal.
But just before I hit that "Buy It Now" button, the sun began to shine. And as the temperature began to rise, so did the garage door. Daphne got all of us into the car, and as we drove towards the mall in search of the Play Place, 1975 receded from my mind into a gentle, avocado tinted haze.
Thank goodness that nonsense was all over, and for once I've dodged the "buyer's remorse" bullet!
Until I see A Whiz-Grid in a thrift store...
No comments:
Post a Comment