Guess I'm a Poser

I have this sticker on the back window of our car:

I think it might have been designed as a slightly ironic jab at the slightly elitist Colorado sticker made popular in the 90s:

But irony isn't why I like my Iowa Native sticker.

What I like best about my native sticker is that I'm truly proud to live in Iowa. Before Daphne and I bought a house here, we went city shopping. We researched and traveled to as many as possible, and during these trips I discovered something. I found out that I'm a mid-western guy, a guy who enjoys living in Iowa, and more specifically, a guy who really loves Des Moines. 

I own this shirt, and wear it with pride:

I could go on with this love letter to Iowa, but according to the Iowa History Journal, displaying that native sticker on my car makes me a liar. A dirty, filthy liar.

The IHJ's fall issue featured Johnny Carson and exposed him as an (gasp!) Iowan. "In the opinion of the historians, it's where you were born that determines your labeling with regards to states, not where you spent most of your childhood." Editor Mike Chapman

The dictionary agrees:

Although Inwood, Iowa was my first hometown, I was born at Sioux Valley Hospital which is located in Sioux Falls, SD. So, if you believe Mr. Chapman and the dictionary, I'm a native South Dakotan.

(fake sticker design I just threw together)

But I don't want a South Dakotan sticker. It just wouldn't feel right. I'd be like listening to Jewel sing "Sweet Home Alabama". When Daphne and I were discussing moving to another city, one of us mentioned Sioux Falls, South Dakota as an option. Then we both burst out laughing.

Why? First, and foremost, my family lives there. Secondly, I haven't checked in awhile, but I think some school districts are still paying their teachers with pocket lint and meat sticks.

So, I'm staying here and keeping that Iowa sticker where it is. Besides, Charlotte's a native.