Wednesday, February 1, 2017

Rubber Slides and Padded Mats (An Email Reprint)

(from 2012)

Ever pull up to a stoplight on a busy multi-lane street and hear car brakes squeal? My first thought is, "Is that my car?" I'll then casually roll ahead a little so I can press the brakes to check.

It is the same experience at a mall's crowed playground when you smell a dirty diaper. My first thought is, "Is that my kid?" I'll then casually bend down to Char's backside to check. Sure it's awkward, but at least I wasn't the dad who pressed his face far enough into his child's diaper that he could have suffocated himself. That guy was gross.

Happily, this weekend anyway, it was someone else's car and someone else's kid.


Here are some random observations after visiting various toddler playgrounds in our local malls:

1. The bottom of the slide is much more dangerous than the top. I didn't see anyone fall off, but I witnessed plenty of crashes at the foot of the slide. Some pileups were five kids deep.
2. Nothing exciting happens when I'm watching my girl play, but if I look away for a couple of seconds there will be a minor disaster. So, it's just like home.
3. I can always smell warm pretzels. 
4. Parents treat the playground like it's an elevator; none of the adults talk to each other. Maybe they're just too tired.
5. Or they're too busy looking at their cell phones.
6. I know that little boy who just ran full steam into Charlotte and sent her flying into the padded bark of a rubber tree didn't mean to hurt her. But while I'm picking up my sobbing girl and watching him rounding the corner for lap number two, I want to trip him.
7. And his mom who didn't even see it happen because she was too busy staring at her phone instead of watching her human torpedo.
8. But I don't.

Music link

No comments:

Post a Comment