Why I Hate Josh Groban

October's over, Char's Halloween candy is almost gone, and the Jack-o'lantern collapsed into itself over a week ago. That stinky guy got discarded like an empty Snickers wrapper.

Now Thanksgiving is right around the corner. I love this holiday because like Christmas, it's all about family. But unlike Christmas, Thanksgiving comes with little expectations, and the only gifts you are supposed to share are edible. There aren't any "secret turkeys" that leave unexpected presents on the table, no one risks life and limb hanging Thanksgiving lights from the roof, and radio stations don't play the greatest Thanksgiving hits ad nauseam. In fact, I can't think of one Thanksgiving song.

Tonight I asked Charlotte where we should have dinner, and she requested, "That place with booster seats, the chips, and the merry-go-round." I was stumped, but Daphne speaks better Charlotte than I do, and translated "merry-go-round" into "El Mariachi", a Mexican restaurant near our house.

And that brings me to Josh Groban. After dinner and on the way home from El Merry-Go-Round, Daphne popped in Josh Groban's Noel Cd. Immediately Char and Daphne began singing along with "The Little Drummer Boy".

I like to sing in the car, but that's because no one else can hear me. And because most of the bands on the radio don't have very good singers, I can sing along and not feel too bad about my meager skills. If I can't hit a note, I just think that's because I'm not auto tuned.

But when I'm pared against singers like Josh Groban, I have to admit defeat and stay silent, especially if my family is in the car. The guy can really sing. If I try to sing along with Josh, Charlotte admonishes me, "Dad, be quiet!" Ouch.

C'mon. It's not my fault I don't have this guy's talent or training. I just want to join in the fun, but he sets the bar too high. Jerk.

I can't be the only guy who hates trying to compete with these professional crooners at Xmas time. What we need is a popular Cd of Christmas songs sung by a guy who's good, but kinda crappy, too. You'd enjoy listening to him work his way through the classics, but you'll silently be thinking, "Even I can do better than that."

That'd be waaay better than listening to Josh Groban showing off. He's like the kid that got everything on his Christmas list, and he can't wait to point out that you didn't.