Father's Day 2026: Group Photo

    Happy Father's Day! Let's see what's on the Holiday Horror Shelf!

    I miss Bill Paxton, but I think it's cool that he directed and starred in the 2001 horror movie Frailty. (One of my favorite movies to watch with Daphne is Twister.)

    It took 35 years, but the Stanley Hotel that inspired The Shining finally got a real hedge maze.

    

    It has been scientifically proven that Sinister is the scariest movie ever made. I was surrounded by moving boxes in our basement the first time I watched this movie. I felt like I was sitting in the mists of the sinister pods from Aliens after a certain jump scare. 

    

    As for the Amityville Horror movies, in real life, the Lutz family's dog Harry did survive, thank goodness.

    FYI: The Holiday Horror Shelf theme for today is "Horror Dads and Axes".

    Well, we're off to Texas Roadhouse. Time to let someone else make me a steak...

    Here's my t-shirt pick from Goodwill. Not horror related, but I think it's funny.

    Don't forget to call your Data today.

Valentine's Day 2026: Group Photo

 

    Hey, not everybody loves Valentine's Day.

    1981's Canadian slasher My Bloody Valentine is good time, and I think I'll give that Blu-Ray in the middle a spin tonight since I'll have the house to myself.

    I probably wouldn't have bought the soundtrack on LP, but Waxwork Records slashed the price in half last Feb. 14, for a one-day-only sale. I thought that was pretty funny.

    For a long time the DVD on the left was the only way to see the uncut version of the film. Wow, this newer edit goes a lot harder than what I watched on HBO back in the day.

It's All About the End

We drove to Sioux Falls, SD to visit my mother last week. On the way home, despite two major repars this year, the oil light on our RAV4 came on. I quickly pulled over and shut off the car. The high that day was 25 degrees. I tuned to Daphne and said quietly, "We're screwed."

We called AAA, but the calling traffic was high, and we kept getting disconnected. Then we had to wait 15-20 minutes again to talk to someone. It also took awhile for the AAA operators to agree that we actually were where Daphne told them. Apparently AAA 's tech does not use Google Maps. The traffic outside the car was also busy. It's unnerving when your car rocks back and forth from the force of the semi trucks that blast past you. 

Two vehicles from AAA arrived three hours later. One tow truck took the RAV to a Toyota dealership in Sioux City. Because of COVID, we were not allowed to ride in the tow truck with our car. The other truck drove us nine miles to a truck stop near Vermillion, SD. The young truck driver told us three times, "Boss says to drop you off here at the Coffee Cup. You'll have to arrange transportation for yourself." Then he drove off. It was 2:00 pm. 

Walking around the inside of a truck stop without having a car on the outside is a very uncomfortable experience.

We downloaded the apps for Uber and Lyft, but nothing seemed to be available. Vermillion didn't have a car rental business, but Daphne discovered that they did have a taxi service. Daphne is a better thinker than I am in situations like this. She was able to get a hold of a taxi driver who was on a job 30 minutes away, and they agreed to come and get us. The car rental places in Sioux City were empty because of the holidays, but Daphne found a car that we could rent at the Sioux City airport. It was now 3:00 pm. 

We had to get to the airport before they closed at 5:00. We also had to get to the dealership by 6:00 if we wanted to get our belongings out of the RAV. All we could do was wait for the taxi and pray that we could get home safely.

While Daphne was making phone calls, I asked Charlotte if she was getting hungry? She replied, "Yes! I'm starved!" My heart sank. Char hadn't complained once about being stuck in the car, and she didn't admit to being hungry until I asked. As we walked the isles looking for something for her to eat, Char wondered if I was also going to get something? I said, "I don't think so, honey. I'm just too nervous to eat right now."

That's when Charlotte looked up at me and said, "Dad, this is all going to work out in the end. We're just not at the end, yet." How's that for a zen moment? I smiled and gave her a side hug. 

Char was right. With God's help, it did all work out. The dog-sitter could keep Ellie for one more night. The taxi brought us to the airport with time to spare. There was a car to rent. The the RAV was towed to the right place. We were on the road by 4:45. I parked the rental in our garage at 7:50. 

We had not even been gone for 36 hours, but it felt so good to finally be home.

Halloween '18: Hot Dog and a Movie

I got the idea from a friend at work. He said he was going to sit outside with his family and project cartoons on his house while they handed out candy.

After talking to him, I thought, I could do that instead of playing Halloween music. I bet Charlotte would get a kick out of it. All I needed was my old Proxima, a DVD player, and the computer speakers I was already going to use. 

I was thinking of showing either The Nightmare Before Christmas, Pooh's Heffalump Halloween, or It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown. I went with the Peanuts gang.

Here's the test run at 5:45. The image is dim, but you can see it.

It was looking pretty good by 6:30. Next year I'll remove the bulbs from that house light.

Okay, the driveway is ready.

Is the front porch lit? Yep!

Is Charlotte ready to go? You bet! (The irony of this costume is that Charlotte refuses to even touch a real hot dog... I suppose that makes the outfit scary to her.)

Daphne and Char hit the neighborhood haunts while I stayed home to hand out candy and babysit the DVD player.

I wondered if only the parents would recognize It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown, but many kids told me that they love this cartoon. One princess excitedly shook the top of her candy sack as she whispered to me, "That is my favorite movie!" 

The ladies got home around 8. For fun, I turned down the house lights and fired up the opening scene of The Nightmare Before Christmas.

Did Charlotte get any candy?

When she was little, Daphne would organize her candy and tally it on a sheet of paper. So when her dad stole a piece of Halloween candy, Daphne would catch it and call him on it.

Char also organized her candy, but she didn't write anything down. *rubs hands together*

I think I can get away with a few thefts...

The 27th 4th

Rob Moeller and I spent the 4th of July together for the 27th time. Rob and his wife, Nichole, came for a visit.

Everyone had fun hanging out together. 

Because Nothing is Friendlier Than Rows of Sharp Teeth

Char's bringing a shark to her second grade Friendship Party.

This year Charlotte and Daphne built the ummm, Friendship Box..? I think it looks realy cool.

Char told me, "You take the picture, Dad, and I'll be all like, 'Ah! I'm holding a shark!' Okay?"
(Maggie retains her composure despite the danger.)

Actually, I think Charlotte should bring a shark to all co-ed parties.

Christmas Eve at the Monson's House

We couldn't figure out why Charlotte wanted to leave Santa a plate of taffy and and a cold beer this year. She finally admitted she got the idea from Calvin and Hobbes:

I think cartoons like this have given Charlotte the idea that Santa doesn't exist. She's been hinting about that for awhile. 

Tonight she got upset that she didn't send Santa a Christmas list. The worried procrastinator quickly wrote one before bed. This gives me hope we have one "Santa is Real" Christmas left.

Translation:

Beanie Babies (a family friend recently gave her a load of them)

"Stop Reading" (Aimed at Daphne and I)

Squinkies

Hatchamals

Squishies

FlipaZoo

No clothes! (As a kid who hated trying on jeans, I get that)

$105 gift card to anywhere (?)

"Hey, stop looking at this note and don't drink the cold beer!" (Aimed at me, I believe)

Taffy and beer? If Santa is real, then this might be the reason he flies over our house without stopping.

Once Again, for the Last Time

Charlotte's dance team performed at Merle Hay Mall last Friday. This has been a holiday tradition for the past four years.

When she saw Mom:

When she saw me:

Here's the dance:

We repeated the Monson family mantra that follows any activity: "Did you do your best?" and "Where do you want to eat?" Charlotte did do her best, and she wanted ice cream at Flix, again.

I didn't think much about it at the time, but this was the last time I'll see our daughter dance at the mall. Her age group has outgrown the mall performances.

If that makes me a little sad, I'll remind myself about the self-righteous woman who rudely scolded us for standing in front of her, and most of that sadness will go away.

Man, that lady was awful.

Christkindlmarket

The Des Moines European Heritage Association hosted a Christkindlmarket last weekend.

Since this was a German-inspired event, Daphne and I split a Hog Father. BBQ Bacon Kraut, you were better than I expected. 

I wouldn't call it sexy, but the pretzel was very good, and it made Char happy.

Say what you want about Millennials, but they sure made day-drinking socially acceptable. I'm not sure that beer and school buses should mix, though.

A Self-Inflicted Wound

Charlotte loves Christmas. She also loves cats. When I spotted this Meowy Christmas CD at the library, I knew it would be a home run.

The CD cracks up Charlotte, but she wants to hear it in the car on the way to school. It's been almost a week, and a guy can only handle so many synthesized meows before it starts to drive him crazy. What was I thinking?

These are the recordings that should get a parental warning. 

"Sorry Char, somebody else wants Meowy Christmas. They reserved at the library, and we have to take it back."  Yes! *wraps arms around the knees and rocks back and forth* that would work! Wouldn't it? Yes! It would work! It better work...

PS. I have to believe this Amazon review is sarcastic. I have to believe that, or I'll lose faith in my fellow man.

This year I might like to receive squishes

Charlotte got to play on the computer with her grandpa during the Thanksgiving holiday.

I didn't know what they were working on, but later I spotted this on the laptop's screen.

That's a lot nicer than the note she left Grandpa in the bathroom.

Translation: "Move it! Out of the bathroom! So Long"

For teasing Grandpa, Charlotte was sentenced to doing house chores, which she seemed to enjoy.

FYI: Saint Nicholas, also known as Santa Claus, was born in an unknown month of 270 AD, so he would now be 1,747 years old

"Seasons Eatings?" from the Monsons

We were shopping at Target last weekend when we spotted the Halloween section of the store. Everything was 90 percent off. We bought a few decorations that we wouldn't buy at full price. And for $1.38, Maggie can dress up next year, too.

Char picked out the ice cream cone and the hamburger "costumes".

Of the two, Maggie was least offended by the hamburger, but I doubt she'd keep either on for more than a block. To go with Char's ice cream sundae outfit, we also bought a hamburger costume for me and a French fry outfit for Daphne, so at least Maggie can match the family for a photo op next year. 

Hmmmm. Or maybe a Christmas card? Hey, that's an idea!

"Daphne? Can we talk about this year's Christmas card?"

Happy Halloween!

Unlike the rest of the world, we Trick or Treated last night on the 30th. Don't get me started on weird Des Moines traditions...

After twenty minutes of scanning Google images, Char decided she wanted a pumpkin with these eyes:

And this mouth:

I think I did okay.

Char seemed happy with it.

This year Char went as an ice cream sundae. The weather was pretty good last week for Trunk or Treat at church.

But Char and mom had to bundle up last night. It was pretty cold (even for an ice cream). Luckily the costume fit right over her winter coat. I stayed home to hand out candy. 

She doesn't know it yet, but after she goes to bed, this kid is going to be robbed of at least four Reese's Peanut Butter Cups. 

After the robbery, I'm going downstairs to watch Get Out. It's my Halloween movie pick for this year.

PS. Maybe next year I can convince Charlotte to go as a Bald Knobber...