Tonight, from 5-8pm, is the Homecoming Street Party at Urbandale High School. There will be games, inflatables, a duck pond, a DJ, and several food trucks in school’s parking lot. The parade starts at 6pm, and Char will be marching with the band along with the floats and the flags. Should be fun for everyone.
Since yesterday’s Pet Sematary is the real deal in terms of serving up the chills, let’s go the other way today.
I like how Google’s AI describes the plot of Lucio Fulci’s The Beyond (1981),"The narrative shuns traditional linear logic, opting instead for a fever-dream sequence of graphic, nightmarish set pieces (including acid attacks, blind spectral figures, and a famous, brutal tarantula attack).”
Fulci was nicknamed the Godfather of Gore, and this movie was retitled 7 Doors of Death, given a new soundtrack, and was cut by about five minutes in order to get this Italian film into the American market with an "R" rating.
Happy Labor Day! Let's see what's on the Holiday Horror Shelf!
In 1974's made-for-TV movie Killdozer, six men on an island are hunted down by a bulldozer that has been possessed by an alien. I know, I know... but I love 70's made-for-TV movies.
In 2011's The Innkeepers, Claire and Luke work the Yankee Pedlar Inn's final night of business. The two leads have real chemistry, and they're fun to watch, but it still doesn't end well for them.
In 2001's Route 666, Lou Diamond Phillips deals with road construction zombies. SPOILER ALERT: His zombie dad comes to his rescue. I like that.
Stephen King wrote Road Work in 1981 under his pseudonym Richard Bachman. The plot deals with a grieving dad whose home and workplace are threatened by an interstate highway extension.
I worked road construction as a way to pay for college in the late 80's. For one week all I had to do was sit at the end of a road in town and tell drivers to to turn around because they couldn't drive across the the soft, newly poured asphalt. I killed time by reading the paperback volumes of Clive Barker's Books of Blood. I still remember one old woman getting freaked out when she read the title of the book in my hand, Nice.
Men at Work's LP Business as Usual came out in the US in 1982. At the time I loved "Who Can it Be Now?," but now I gravitate towards "Be Good Johnny". My favorite Men at Work cover song is Lazlo Bane's version of "Overkill." About two thirds through the song Colin Hay comes in and just kills it.
Don't work too hard this weekend!
Let’s check the horror shelf in memory of Tim Curry.
MEG: a Novel of Deep Terror by Steve Altin came out in 1997. I had a first edition hard cover, but I kept it in my classroom when I exclusively taught language arts, and it got really beat up by the guys who would fight over it during my required reading time.
The MEG movie came out in 2018, and I was disappointed the filmmakers didn't use the same opening as the book. In the book's prologue, a herd of Shantungosauruses are on a beach feeding on a smaller group of dinosaurs when a T-Rex breaks up the party and flips the script by making the herd his prey. But when he stumbles into the nearby ocean, a Megalodon emerges from the depths and kills the T-Rex with it's superior size and jaws. Or something like that... I think The MEG 2: The Trench used this idea for its prologue. Both films used Jason Statham, and that's always a good thing.
Great White's LP Once Bitten came out in the summer of '87. I was working 60 to 80 hours weeks on a road crew so I could pay for my freshman year of college. I had my tuition covered by the end of June. I had enough cash for my dorm room, books, and food by late July. In August I bought a few records to bring with me, and Once Bitten was in that lot. I'm not gonna lie. Working the road crew was zero fun. It's probably also the reason why my dermatologist keeps coming at me with a scalpel.
The Black Demon movie came out in 2023, and the novel Extinct by Charles Wilson was published in 1997. Both also have a Megalodon as the antagonist. I like how the covers echo each other. Extinct's cover says a it was coming to NBC-TV presumably as a made-for-TV movie, but that - spoiler alert!- didn't happen.
When I bought Shark Night from Goodwill, I didn't know the original title for the film was Shark Night 3D. Of the four Jaws movies, Jaws III, or Jaws 3D, is my least favorite. I also didn't know that during the credits the cast was going to be in a music video performing the song, "Shark Night Cast: Shark Bite."
Here's Char hamming it up at Flix when she was about to turn eight
The Sharknado soundtrack is by a band named Quint. They are named after Robert Shaw's character in Jaws. The band is fronted by Robbie Rist who is an actor who played Oliver, a new and young character added to The Brady Bunch TV show's sixth season. It was an attempt to revive their dwindling viewership. That didn't work. The show really jumped the shark when Oliver showed up, but that's not his fault.
The Holiday Horror Shelf is also displaying Sharknado, Sharknado 2, Sharknado 3, and a souvenir magnet from our vacation at Oceanside.
Anymore, the only souvenirs I want to bring home when I travel are pictures, magnets, and thrifted t-shirts.
Some people think that summer is over once the 4th of July has passed, but I'm throwing a BS flag on the field.
2010's Mother's Day is a loose remake of the Troma film. "Mother" is played by Rebecca De Mornay. She gives off the same evil vibe as she did in The Hand that Rocks the Cradle.
2008's Baby Blues has a young son pitted against his postpartum mom bent on killing him and his siblings. Yikes.
Man, it took me so long to locate my 1993's Mutha's Day Out CD. My Soul is Wet is a one-and-done grunge album that's still popular in Paris, France. Seriously.
2021's You Are Not My Mother is set in Dublin, Ireland, so it could have gone on the St. Patrick's Day shelf, but come on, this title fits in here too well. This is a slow-burn flick with no gore. Hazel Doupe plays the lead character Charlotte, but everyone calls her Char. Hmmm. Sounds familiar.
Don't forget to call your mom today.
Happy April Fools' Day! Let's see what's on the Holiday Horror Shelf!
I just realized that April Fool's Day, released in late March of 1986, is celebrating its 40th anniversary. The film is a horror-comedy, but it was marketed as a straight up slasher, and horror fans didn't like the surprise ending. I think the film's title should have tipped the audience off. That, and the fact that all of the "kills" happen offscreen.
The Jeff Rovin's novelization of the film was based on the original screenplay that ends on a darker note. Some copies of this book have movie stills on the back cover that aren't in the movie, but they match what is in the book's plot.
So, what's up with The Sound of Music Blu-ray and The Pacifier DVD? Those aren't horror movies.
I thought you'd never ask.
Our family tradition at the theater is to give each movie trailer either a thumbs up or a thumbs down when it's over. That helps us plan what family movie we could all see next. We also did this with the trailers on the DVDs I'd bring home from the library. We watched a trailer for The Pacifier when Charlotte was in 4th grade. Char really laughed at Gary the duck and the dirty diaper jokes. Daphne did not. At the end, Char and I gave the movie trailer a thumbs up, and Daphne was decidedly at thumbs down, "That movie looks terrible," she said. I secretly gave Charlotte a wink, and she nodded at me.
Later, when I went into Char's bedroom to say goodnight, we hatched our plan for April Fools' Day.
The next day I found a copy of The Pacifier at Urbandale's public library and hid it at home in my backpack. At dinner that night Charlotte casually asked her mom if she could watch any movie at home, what would she pick? Daphne responded, "Oh, I haven't seen The Sound of Music for a long time. That would be a fun one."
Char replied, "Okay, let's watch that tomorrow night." Char secretly winked at me while her mom was clearing the dishes. I was impressed. She had a pretty good game face for a ten-year-old.
That was March 31.
I found our Blu-ray of The Sound of Music the next day after school. I loaded The Pacifier DVD into our player, clicked past the previews and the menu, and set it so the movie would begin right after the Walt Disney Productions logo. Since the Blu-ray player has place memory, I ejected The Pacifier DVD and put it in the case for The Sound of Music. I was fairly confident the movie would start right where I hit "Stop". I put The Sound of Music case on the kitchen counter, and waited for Daphne to come home.
Our trap was set.
We gathered in the living room after dinner. I made a production of pulling the disc from the case, and placing it in the player while the girls were watching me. I hit "Play" on the remote, and the movie started where I had hoped it would. Daphne knew she had been had about 30 seconds in. She yelled, "Oh nooooo! Not this movie!" when Vin Diesel appeared on the screen.
Char and I yelled, "April Fools!" and Char laughed and laughed and laughed. I did, too. Daphne took it in stride (her yell was mostly fake) and agreed to watch the movie with us.
I probably wouldn't even be writing this story if that was all. But our movie-switch wasn't the only surprise. In The Pacifier, one of the teenage characters that Vin Diesel is supposed to be protecting has secretly joined an amateur production of The Sound of Music, and when the director quits, Vin takes over. At the end of the movie, we get to see the cast perform a scene from the musical. None of us saw that one coming. Turns out Char and I weren't really lying.
Secondly, Daphne was surprised that she enjoyed the movie as much as she did. She asked me when it was over, "Is Vin Diesel in any other movies like that? If he is, then I would watch them with you guys for sure." Unfortunately, this is his only family-friendly comedy.
This afternoon I asked Char if she remembered pranking Mom with this movie six years ago. She nodded her head, "That's the movie where mom got to see The Sound of Music anyway."
So, yeah, The Pacifier might not be an April Fools' Day movie at your house, but it sure is at ours.
From left to right: This is the seven movie set of the Leprechaun films.
2024's indie horror film Oddity starts with a serious you-don't-know-who-is-in-the-house-with-you scare and then morphs into a fun twist on the Golem monster.
Here's how the imdb.com describes 2012's Grabbers:
Musically, I'm going with The Pogues' LP If I Should Fall from Grace with God because it includes "Turkish Song of the Damned." Bandleader Shane MacGowan explained its lyrics as being a mixture of pirate and ghost story '...about a guy on a Turkish island who deserted a sinking ship with all the money and all his mates went down… then his best mate comes back, and all the crew, to drag him back down to hell or wherever they are.’" - Wikipedia
It felt pretty timely when I found this Leprechaun Returns Blu-ray at Goodwill last week. I didn't even know there was an eighth film in the series. Apparently this one ranks pretty high with the fans. Some websites put this 2018 movie at the top of their lists. I haven't watched it, yet, but it was cool to find it in time for this post.
Great Irish Tales of Horror: A Treasury of Fear was first published in 1995 and is divided into three sections: Lurking Shadows, Wake Not the Dead, and To Make the Flesh Creep. AI says 1861's "The Child Who Loved a Grave" by Fitz-James O' Brien is the most famous story in the book, and he's known as the Celtic Poe. I'll rate that story as "meh" since a child dies at the end.
Don't forget to wear your green. You don't want to get pinched!
Hey, not everybody loves Valentine's Day.
1981's Canadian slasher My Bloody Valentine is good time, and I think I'll give that Blu-Ray in the middle a spin tonight since I'll have the house to myself.
