Iowa's Best Burger Tour: Ankeny Diner

With the help of 9,600 nomination votes, The Iowa Beef Industry Council and the Iowa Cattlemen’s Association have released the nominations for the Iowa's Best Burger contest. For me, this is big news.

Now that Charlotte's old enough to eat, behave, and enjoy herself in a restaurant, it's really fun to finally go out to eat as a family and not have to apologize to everyone seated near us... I typed that sentence with crossed fingers while knocking on wood. 

Here are the nominated restaurants and their proximity to my home. You can tell I'm from Iowa. I mark distance by time, not by miles. "How far is it to Ottumwa?" "Oh, about an hour and a half."

Ankeny Diner, Ankeny: 17 mins
Big City Burgers & Greens, in Des Moines
Brick City Grill, Ames: 39 mins
Elm’s Club, Creston: 1hr 16 mins
Ferg’s My Tighe’s, Grand Junction: 55 min
First Street Grille, Keosauqua: 2hrs 15 min
Ride’s Bar & Grill, Fort Dodge: 1hr 29 mins
Sam’s Sodas and Sandwiches, Carroll: 1hr 29 mins
The Ritz, Arnold’s Park: 3 hrs 20 mins
Zombie Burger, in Des Moines

Last night we traveled to the Ankeny Diner to give their burger a whirl. It wasn't easy to get Charlotte in the car, though. She actually rode her tricycle for the first time yesterday, and she didn't want to give up the feel of the wind in her hair.

Actually, I should say "the wind at her back" because that's the direction she kept pedaling. You can't hear the backup "beeps", but Char's headed straight for that bush behind her. The only thing that got her off the trike was the promise that we'd order her a milkshake. In one of Char's books there's a tiger who only drinks milkshakes, and Char has wanted one ever since. 

But what about the Ankeny Diner's burger? I ordered the California Burger because I just wanted to taste the meat. I didn't want cheese or a fancy sauce getting in my way.

Here's how the burger looked when it arrived. (The onion rings were a 49 cent upgrade.)

Looks awesome. But was it any good? Yes, it tasted really good... if you like your burger lukewarm. You can't tell from the photo, but those onion rings are about one degree above stone cold. The same goes for Daphne's fries. I don't know about you, but to me a cold French fry sounds like a sad trombone when you bite into it.

When I told our waiter I was disappointed that we had waited 35 minutes to get cold fries and onion rings, he replied, "They're cold? Oh man, that's too bad..." there was a ten second pause until he added, "I don't know how... I brought the food out as soon as it was on the plates..." then he just faded away.

And that mayonnaise smile on the bun was a lot friendlier than the hostess. She didn't smile or say hello when we arrived, she greeted us with a pained expression. And when the other hostess asked where she should seat us, the gal answered, "Anywhere they fit."

Daphne has worked in a restaurant as a server, and so she's always a big tipper and has empathy when things don't come out of the kitchen perfectly. But even she described the people working the front desk as "nasty".

The only bright spot was that Charlotte really liked the vanilla milkshake. And next time she wants a pink one. I'll be more than happy to order her a strawberry milkshake, it just won't be from the Ankey Diner.

My four word review for the Ankeny Diner is: cold food, colder service.