It Also Makes Me Want to Bid

I suppose this eBay listing is supposed to be funny, but it makes me sad.

"THIS IS A VERY OLD DOG... SHE DOES LONG DIVISION, AND CAN SEE INTO THE FUTURE... I AM STARTING THE BID AT A DISCOUNT PRICE THAT WE CONSIDER A TRUE CROWD PLEASER! IF YOU HAVE QUESTIONS I COMPLETELY UNDESTAND..."

I don't understand at all.

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