So, What Have I Learned?

Sunday is Father's Day (my second), and my daughter will hit 22 months the day after. So, what have I learned in those months? In a nutshell: I control nothing. BUT I knew that before my wife became pregnant.

So, what have I learned about being a dad? I only have observations about raising a one year old; I don't really remember much from Charlotte's "infant days", and I'd bet I'm not alone. I think if most people could recall every minute of those sleepless nights and zombie days, they'd never want another child. But I must love my daughter dearly,  she's the only person I will allow to steal bacon off my breakfast plate.

I have learned a few lessons about raising a toddler, but I think they only apply to being a father of a girl. I've watched little boys at the park, and they cry waaaay less.

Charlotte inherited some of my best qualities, and some of my worst ones, too. Watching her behavior in times of stress reveals a lot about the both of us.
She's a born actress. I never know if the tears are real until they abruptly stop. 
Sure, you can chose when you go to bed, but she will always decide when you get up.
Stop expecting an event will be be fun for the family. Instead, be surprised when it is.
Forget spontaneity, even going to the grocery stores requires packing a small amount of luggage.
If you stop paying attention when the two of you are playing on the floor, she will stomp your crotch.
If you stop paying attention when you're pushing her in the swing, she will kick you in the face.
The distance from the store to your parked car may look like a 30 second trip, but it might take five minutes or more to get there.
The transition from laughing to crying takes less than the blink of an eye.
If Charlotte takes five steps in the direction I want her to walk, then she'll turn and run seven steps in the opposite direction.
The front yard of your house is much more interesting than you ever thought.
The front yard of your house is much more dangerous than you ever thought.
Gravity is your enemy.
Going "boneless" is an effective defense mechanism.
Missing a nap is worse than missing a house payment.
Taking a ball into church is a bad idea.
If you haven't seen or heard from Charlotte for a whole minute, that can mean serious trouble for you both.
"Daddy" is the best word in the English language.