Birthday 2026: Group Photo

    I know my birthday isn't a real holiday, but what the heck. Let's see what's on the Holiday Horror Shelf!

    The original posters for 1981's Canadian slasher Happy Birthday to Me had the blurb, "John will never eat shish kebab again. Steven will never ride a motorcycle again. Greg will never lift weights again. Who’s killing Crawford High’s snobbish top ten? At the rate they’re going, there will be no one left for Virginia’s birthday party… alive. Happy Birthday to Me Six off the most bizarre murders you will ever see." That's quite a spoiler and quite a mouthful. (SWIDT?)

    In 2017's Happy Death Day, a character relives her birthday over and over with references to Groundhog Day. In 2019's Happy Death Day 2U, the same thing eventually happens, but the movie references are to Back to the Future II. I was hoping for a second sequel, but I don't think that's going to happen.

    In 2010's My Soul to Take, it seems like a deceased killer called The Riverton Ripper is coming back for the seven children who were born on the day the Ripper was killed. Say what you will about this Wes Craven film, but an alternate ending on this release made me choke up. Didn't see that one coming...

 

    Here's a little info about my birthday t-shirt choice:

        In the late 80's there was a popular TV drama called Thirty Something. The series was about seven people living in Philadelphia dealing with their everyday adult angst. My mom really liked that show.

    

       A Chicago band named Local H released their first LP, Ham Fisted, in 1994. "Mayonnaise and Malaise," is a song on that record, and it has the lyric, "It's really something to be twenty nothing." I thought was clever, and I wore this rock tee all the time in the 90s. 

    I remember wearing it while shopping in Sioux Center, Iowa, and a stranger stopped to tell me how much he liked my shirt. To me, that's almost the ultimate compliment.

    Anyway, here's the shirt I wore to dinner tonight.

    Charlotte hadn't seen this shirt before, and she complimented me on this rock tee. High praise, indeed.

        In my small bubble, for a small amount of time, I was a main character... Yay!

End of a Era...

Charlotte turned nine this month, and we hosted a party for her. The theme? Harry Potter.

This has been a Harry Potter year, so the theme makes sense. We listened to all of the audio books in the car, Char read the illustrated books 1-3 with Daphne and by herself, and we watched all 8 movies together. It got to be a bit much for me. While we were vacationing in the Black Hills, I had a couple of dreams where I was running around doing stuff with Harry, Ron, and Hermione. That's just not right.

Anyway, back to Char's party. 

We "sorted" the kids by letting them blindly draw a house name. I used a YouTube clip to announce the house name for each one.

Each student then received a house scarf and a wand.

They also received a class schedule for the day. 

Charms class had the students practicing the spell "Wingardium Leviosa." It's a basic levitation charm that "lifted" a stuffed animal off the floor with the help of fishing line and me hiding upstairs. Cheesy, but fun. 

Potions class was in the kitchen, and each house had a recipe to follow. Daphne renamed basic ingredients that would produce a colorful and bubbly effect. (Someday Charlotte will realize how much work her mom put into all of this.)

Care of Magical Creatures took place in Hagrid's Hut Tent.

Here's the Flying Lessons (relay race with brooms). Divination class was aided by the help of a Magic 8-Ball.

For Defense Against the Dark Arts, the students drew and colored their own patronuses. 

For Transfiguration Class, we shoved small, stuffed animals into mouse-eared shaped balloons When they popped the balloons, the small animals appeared. I missed getting a picture of this.

Here's our version of the Express Trolley on the Hogswarts Express. Each student had five galleons to spend on candy. Yea for chocolate frogs!

Char received a talking Sorting Hat as a gift. We could have used that earlier!

Daphne even made Char a Golden Snitch cake.

Her party was a success. When the dust settled, Daphne and I gave each other a high-five, and we cleaned the house. Char spent the afternoon riding bikes with her friends who live in the neighborhood. They were all invited to her party, so it was like the event had extended into the dusk.

So, why is this an end of an era?

When Char was younger, it took quite a bit of time to move the guests from one activity to another. Earlier parties ended before we got through all of the games. But these kids are in 4th grade. They can deftly move through an activity list. For the first time, we were out of solid ideas with 30 minutes to go. Daphne did a great job of winging it, but we were both getting nervous.

Charlotte and her friends are also a lot bigger than they used to be. As the only adults, we were outnumbered and outgunned. With 15 minutes left on the clock and a rock in my stomach, I told Daphne, "I think this is our last party like this. Can you imagine this place full of 5th graders?" She laughed, but later wholeheartedly agreed.

Next year we can take a few of her friends to a movie or maybe Adventureland. Our big party days are over.

Flashback 2011: 

Here is Char at her first birthday party opening her first gift by herself. Back then I couldn't believe she was already a year old. When I took this picture, I thought she looked so big.

I had no clue what I was in for.

I still don't.

Chip Off the Old Block

Char wanted, among other things, to serve potato chips at her last birthday party. I suggested Munchos.

Char rolled her eyes the first time I made this suggestion. She lightly punched me in the shoulder the second time. The third time I brought up Munchos - we were in Hy-Vee - she protested, "Dad! Be serious! The party is this week!"

I led her to the chip aisle and pointed to a bag. "I am being serious. Look, they're right here." Char's eye bulged. She couldn't believe Munchos actually existed. "I'll tell ya what. I'll buy you a bag of Munchos, and we'll try them when we get home. If you don't like them, then I'll finish the bag myself, and bring you back here to get any kind of chips this store sells." (We don't buy potato chips very often, so this would be a win-win for me no matter what.)

I opened the bag in our kitchen, and her eyes rolled up when she tasted her first chip. "Mmmmph! Dad! Munchos are soooo good!"

"I know! But didn't I tell you that five times already? Why wouldn't you believe me?"

"Well, actually it was four times," she corrected, "but I thought you made these up. You know, you're a dad. You're supposed to tease me."

"Well, that is true. But not about something as important as birthday party chips."  

At the party, when Daphne brought out two bowls of chips, Charlotte announced to the table, "Ohhh! Try these first. They're Munchos!" I'll admit that I felt a twinge of pride.

Here's a link to a Jim Hensen commercial from 1969. Guess who liked Muchos before they liked cookies? ----> link

PS. This post is proof that you can blog about anything.

8th Birthday Party: Before and After

I was so surprised to see Charlotte vacuuming before her party today. She told Mom she wanted to help, and she followed through. Whoa! Charlotte is growing up.

I'm not comfortable publishing pictures of other people's children, but I can say that everyone was exhausted after the party.

Pre-Party Glee

I've only throw a few parties in my life, but I was always worried sick that no one would show up. Charlotte had a birthday party on Saturday, and she showed no signs of stress ten minutes before the party began. I would love to be that confident. 

Birthday Wishes

I turned 47 today. How did that happen?

Anyway, listen to what was waiting for me on the answering machine when we got back from the Farmers' Market. Grandma Monson is 90.

What a great gift!

Half Full

Charlotte turned five years old only a few days before kindergarten began, so she's pretty young for her class. It bothers her that many of the students in her class are six years old, or are turning six.

We can't do anything about the August birthday, so I like to make her focus on her half birthday. She doesn't get presents, but I make a big deal about how much she's growing up, and she gets to pick where we eat on February 18. This year she picked the Triple Crown Buffet at Prarie Medows.



If you think that eating at a buffet is gross and that you're above such things, that's okay. You weren't invited to our little party, anyway.

One does not have to miss out on gymnastics just because one is waiting in line.

Charlotte declared that she was now old enough to carry her own plate. She also used the buffet's utensils to fill her plate by herself. This is what five and a half-year-old pride looks like.

What? No meat? Dad is disappointed. Oops! I take it back. I see ham. Carry on.

Hey Char, how old are you, again?

"The thumb means 'half', Dad"

A Very Merry Half Birthday To Me... To Me.

As any kid who was born in June, July, or early August, can tell you, summer birthdays tend to be less celebratory. You don't get to bring treats to school, the teacher doesn't announce your big day to everyone, and a room full of classmates doesn't sing "Happy Birthday" to you.

A summer birthday will garner you gifts, a card from Grandma, and if you're lucky - a small party. Sure, all of that is great, but a summer birthday isn't quite the same. It's not anybody's fault, but in the world of K-6 education, if it didn't happened during school year, then it didn't happen at all.

Interestingly, things didn't change when I became a high school teacher. For two decades the English department has always made sure to throw little parties for any member who has a birthday during the school year. The women (I'm the only male in a department of nine) will put up a few decorations in the English office, they'll all sign a card, and then they'll share a treat before school begins. I've even been invited a couple of times.

But now, on Fridays, our school's weekly calendar is emailed to the staff, and it lists people who have birthdays, and half birthdays coming up.

For the first few years when I was listed as a half birthday boy, nothing came of it. But then one year my big moment came. I was told by a department member, "Brent, we thought about celebrating your half birthday this year... but since there are so many real birthdays this month, we've decided to push yours back a few months."

For one, I didn't know that was even possible. For two, the celebration was pushed back until it was neatly forgotten.

Maybe I should read this book:

So, imagine my surprise hearing, "Happy 1/2 birthday, Brent!" when I walked into the building yesterday. It was friend of mine calling from across the hall, on her way to a meeting.

Later, my jaw dropped when I found this on my desk.

Let's open it!

Holy. Cow. A coworker took the time to bake me a cake for my 1/2 birthday? Seriously, how cool is that?

I don't name people on my blog without their permission (at least nice people), so I can't tell you who made my day yesterday, but it turns out that I work with a lot of nice girls, too.

Maybe I don't need that book after all.