Maybe You Should Avoid Our Sale

We just closed the door after the first day of our garage sale. It went really well, but we're exhausted. And I'm not exactly thinking straight. Let me tell you what I mean.

This a typical exchange at the sale:

A retired woman in a golf shirt hands me an item and says, "Excuse me, how much for this mug?"

I reply, "Twenty five cents". She'd then hand me a quarter, and I'd hand her new cup back.

Now, that's what happens in the real world. But inside my head, where I'm not exactly thinking straight, this scenario stretches a bit further:

A retired woman in a golf shirt hands me an item and says, "Excuse me, how much for this mug?"

I reply, "Twenty five cents," and then I'd slightly tilt my head and lower my voice, "Unless you'd like the dollar upgrade..."

"What's the dollar upgrade?"

"I'll show you," and I'd hand the mug to my brother-in-law Chris, who is as sweaty and dirty as I am. Chris would lower his chin, and then seductively run his tongue around the rim of the mug.

Horrified, the woman would gasp, "That's a one dollar upgrade!?"

Then Chris would slowly ask, "Wanna try for the five?"