Canada Vacation '18: The Expunged and the Exhausted

The plan was to fly from Québec City to Toronto, fly from Toronto to Chicago, and then fly from Chicago to home. It would be a long day, but we should be in Iowa before 11:00 p.m.

“It can hardly be a coincidence that no language on earth has ever produced the expression, 'As pretty as an airport.'” 
― Douglas Adams, The Long Dark Tea-Time of the Soul


The airport in Québec City was actually quite nice. We were there long enough to for Char to make a fort.

Then the PA speakers announced our names. We had been requested to move to an earlier flight to Toronto. We were given new boarding passes, and off we went.

We were glad to have some extra time to navigate the customs lines at the Toronto airport. That airport  is... "the largest and busiest airport in Canada, the second-busiest international air passenger gateway in the Americas, and the 30th-busiest airport in the world..." according to Wikipedia.

Daphne played games with Charlotte, Charlotte played games on my laptop, we ate a light lunch, I read, Daphne read, Charlotte read, and we took turns walking around the airport trying to get some steps in. Four hours in an airport feels like 24 hours at home.

Our flight to Chicago was an hour behind schedule because the United flight crew was late. So, several passengers on our plane were not going to be able to make their next connecting flight. These passengers were called to the desk and given hotel options. Our names were not called, so we thought we'd be okay.

We weren't okay. They didn't call us to the desk because they didn't know we were there. Somehow the guy in the Québec airport had "expunged our records." Even though we had boarding passes that got us through customs, we were no longer on the list of passengers.

We finally got seats on the plane, and we were in Chicago in an hour and a half. We had 17 minutes to get to our next flight. On the map we could see we were as far from our next gate as possible. We took escalator steps two at a time and sprinted down moving walk ways. Charlotte fell three times because she was running in flip flops. Eventually I held Char's hand as we ran, and I motioned to Daphne to go ahead without us. We still had nine minutes left.

By the time Char and I reached our destination, Daphne was doubled over and exclaiming, "Noooo!  You can't be serious!"

The TV behind the desk had just changed to, "Boarding Closed." We had made it with six minutes to go, but we were still late by a few seconds.  My knee was throbbing, Daphne was upset, and Charlotte was crying. The robotic woman behind the desk mechanically repeated, "I'm sorry. There is nothing I can do. I'm sorry. There is nothing I can do. I'm sorry. There is nothing I can do."

Taking pity on us, another employee behind a different desk called the plane to see if we could still get on, but the brakes had already been released. The plane had left seven minutes early.

All we could do was drag our sorry bottoms to the customer service desk and wait in a very long and slow-moving line. The young man who greeted us promptly told us that all the hotels in the area were booked. It looked like we might have to steep in the terminal. It was 9:55 p.m., and cots were being rolled out.

At 10:45, a very pleasant United employee talked to her manager on our behalf. The manager was able to "pull a hotel room out of her pocket," and she also gave us $60 dollars in food vouchers. I was grouchy, but I had to admit that was nice. Thanks, United.

We brushed our teeth with hotel toothbrushes after eating Starbucks sandwiches in our room. We were in bed around midnight. I was disappointed that I wasn't in my own bedrom, but I was too tired to let it bother me.

Charlotte slept like a rock, and she woke up in great mood. Our new flight was at 12:45, and we had no where to go and nothing clean to wear. Char ate a Starbucks cookie breakfast, and we watched the last part of Storks on HBO. Daphne hadn't seen the movie before, and I had forgotten how funny it is. We all stretched out on the beds and laughed with pillows under our chins.

Charlotte told us as she dressed in the same clothes that she had worn the day before,"You know, it was actually pretty lucky that we missed our flight. I needed a morning to relax and watch TV in bed."

Back in O'Hare, I had a very American cheeseburger and fries for lunch. We weren't home, but we were so close that I could taste it.

I was in my basement three hours later. Maggie was resting in the backyard, and the cats had been fed. I had already taken my souvenir bottle opener for a test drive. The needle had been dropped on the record player, and when Clutch's "Earth Rocker" filled the room, I  knew I was home.

We didn't rock the earth, but the Monsons had seen more of it than we had before.