That Girl is Poison

I've had this band poster of Poison (circa 1987) hanging in my classroom for years. Initially I thought it was funny way to fill up wall space. But you'd be surprised how many kids know the band and like their music.

Now the poster's on the filling cabinet behind my desk, and I like it better.

That's Char at ages four, three, two and one.

"Nothin' but a Good Time." 

Just Another Day?

One Saturday morning, after eating her fill of poffertjes at the Downtown Farmers' Market, Charlotte thought she'd dance on the bridge in the wind. And so she did.

I can't say everyday is a good day as a parent, but I can never say, "Nothing happened."

Home Depot House Arrest

When we take Charlotte to Home Depot, we make a deal with her. If she behaves in the store, then we'll let her play in the "little houses" that are on display outside the front entrance.

She likes to play "Mailman". I'm the mailman. I knock on the door, and when Char opens it, I hand her imaginary things like puppies, kitties, and toilets (don't ask).

We do this in the five storage sheds, and it's a pretty fun game, but it got scary one day back in July. At the fifth house, Char wanted to be the mailman. So, Daphne and I dutifully went in, but when we closed the door, Char slammed the outside handle into position. There wasn't a handle on the inside of the door, so we were locked in.

That meant we had a three-year-old girl standing by herself in a busy parking lot, and we couldn't get to her.

"Char! Open the doors!"
"I don't know how." Her voice was muffled, but she didn't sound alarmed.
"Charlotte! Open these doors! We can't open them from in here!"
"I can't. It doesn't turn!"

While worst-case scenarios ran through my head, I started to freak out a little. I began to slam my fist against the thin door, hoping it would pop open, but it wouldn't budge. I considered kicking the door open, and then sheepishly paying for the damage I caused, but Char was standing on the other side of the door, and I didn't want the door to hit her when it flew open. I didn't know if I was angrier at Charlotte or the fool that didn't put a door knob in here. What were we going to do?

And then the door swung open, Charlotte popped her head into our hot and humid space, and she sang, "Mailmaaaan!"

Once we calmed down, Daphne did a good job of explaining to Charlotte what she did wrong, and how dangerous it was. Char apologized as we weaved through the parking lot, and as I lifted her into her car seat I got to use the line that all relieved parents say, "And don't ever do that again!"

Random Food Fact: Ketchup Aficionado Edition

I'm not too picky about what ketchup I use. If it's red, I'm cool with it. But if you're really picky about that condiment, then here's some information for you.

"Even in America, not all ketchups are created equal, not even all Heinz’s. Heinz’s “best if used by“ date is exactly 15 months after the day of manufacture. The best ketchups are made between Aug. 1 and Sept. 30, when tomatoes are ripest in middle America. So, aficionados, look for “use by” dates in November and December."

You can read Jim Duncan's entire article, "Burgers of Des Moines", here: RELISH

Iowa State Fair 2014: Zip-Line-a-Doo-Dah Edition

Sunday was the last day of this year's Iowa State Fair, and Char was really excited to go back. We started the day with an egg on-a-stick. It's a healthy breakfast.

And we stuck our heads in things (again).

The girls also took their annual ride on the Sky Glider.

We went into the Varied Industries Building to see if the Rain Barrel people were running a sale, but the gals got distracted by the Heartland Greyhound Adoption's booth. If school wasn't just about to start, I think we might have fallen in love with more than just the corn dogs. This guy knew how to lean into you when you were petting him (very effective).

We also got to see the biggest rabbit, and although he wasn't up for adoption, he looked like he weighed more than the greyhound.

But the rabbit wasn't the biggest animals we saw. The Budweiser Clydesdales were also on the fairgrounds. While we were watching the horses, Daphne and I started reminiscing about the Budweiser Clydesdale commercials that run during the Super Bowl. We love those, but when I brought up the 9/11 tribute commercial we both started to tear up, so I quickly switched the topic, like I'm going to do now.

Topic switch: When you buy your fair ticket pack in advance you get tickets to rides you'd normally just walk by. Tickets to the Zipline were included in our ticket pack, and both Daphne and I thought the ride looked like fun. I didn't say Charlotte thought the ride looked like fun.

It wasn't until my turn on the Zipline was over that I learned that Char was really mad that I was going to ride something that she couldn't (the Zipline doesn't have age requirements; it has weight requirements that Char couldn't meet.) So, Char wouldn't look at me as I was being strapped in. As you can see, I don't look too sure of this harness and where it's going.

And Char wouldn't wave back when I posed for the camera.

When I walked passed the girls, Daphne held up the camera and hollered, "You better blog about this!" I think she was having fun being the one behind the camera for a change. I had to wait in line before I could climb the 28-foot tower, and standing in that harness is a lot like enduring a huge wedgie for eight minutes.

Charlotte pulled the cover of her stroller over her head when it was my turn to fly across the field, so I'm posting a video to taunt her with later.

Then it was Daphne's turn on the Zipline while I hung out with Charlotte. Now instead of being jealous of her mom, Char was scared for her. Wow, did Char ever wail. It didn't matter how sweetly Mom called and waved, Char would not settle down.

In one minute Mom was back down from the heavens and giving Char a big hug. I later asked Char if she was that scared for me when I was up there, and she replied, "No, Dad. I was only scared for Mom." I try not to read too much into that.

Then it was time for Char to ride something, but she was too angry at us to let herself have any more fun. She wouldn't even smile during her camel ride.

She also refused to play in the water fountain, even though we brought a change of clothes for her. In all honesty, she wasn't being naughty as much as she was exhausted. She had her 4th birthday party the day before, and Char was just worn out.

This is what she looked like on the way home.

Sigh. I guess summer really is over. School started on Monday, and Charlotte went back to day care and preschool for her last year. Time marches on.

And it was time to eat the last bite of corn dog on the last day of the fair. That's not tragic, but it does make me feel a little sad. And I'm not alone. Look, a little mustard tear.

 And look, you can cry, too: link

Iowa State Fair 2014: "Still Sticking Our Heads In There" Edition

Let's end the summer with a bang. It's time to head down to the fairgrounds!

We like to use the Center Street Park & Ride bus. The lines are short, and its' parking garage is usually half full. We were the second family on the bus, and Char wanted to sit "all the waaaay in the back!"

Our first stop was for a potty break (the bus ride was pretty bumpy), and our second stop was for a Fair Square.

Across the way they were selling bacon-wrapped little smokies on-a-stick, and that was a great first step on my Fair meat journey.

Up next was the tilt-a-strawberries! Char doesn't know that the circle handle in the middle of the car controls how much your berry spins, "Ours didn't turn very much did it Mom?"

The Bumper Boats were next door. Anytime your child wants to get on a ride that spins, but they have to ride solo, let them!

Time for the pork chop on-a-stick. I'm looking forward to the day when Char can eat one of these by herself. Then I won't have to share mine.

Stand-in time. Char-boy:

Char-girl:

I prefer Char-girl, but I don't want to judge.

Although Char was all over the Applelicious cookies that they sell at the Cultural Center...

... she wanted nothing to do with the Caprese salad on-a-stick. That's my girl!

She ordered a PB&J sandwich-on-a-stick instead. These are a steal at $2 (at the ISF anyway).

The have goofy mirrors in the State Fair Museum.

There is also a large, spinning display that highlights notable concert performers who have appeared on the Fair's Grandstand.

I saw the Johnny Cash concert in '76 when I was seven. I remember Johnny singing "One Piece at a Time", and when June Carter Cash walked on stage with her ankle-length hair, a guy behind us said, "I bet she washes it every time she uses the toilet." Classy.

Time to stick our head into more stuff.

Barely there.

Can't... quite... make... it.

Char drew on animals.

And got to pet them, too.

Here are two of her dad's favorite words that do not refer to meat: Cheese Curds!

Dang! I have to share these, too?

We munched fried cheese, and we watched waltzing tigers.

And a tiger who could do a high wire act.

My favorite part of the tiger show was when a boy behind us noticed Char eating. He turned to his grandpa and asked, "Hey, they have cheese curds. Could we get some, too?"
His grandpa replied, "Maybe later."
"Sweet!" The boy grinned at his sister, but the world-wise, nine-year-old shot him down, "'Maybe later' means 'no', Caleb."
"It does?"
"Yeah, it does."
The boy turned his head and asked, "Grandpa Bill, does 'maybe later' really mean 'no'?"
His grandpa awkwardly laughed, and then looked away.

Here are some more head shots:

I hate the Fair's Midway. It's just a long loop of bitter disappointment. Char wants the cheap, inflatable prizes, but there's no way she can win one. She wants to ride the big rides, like the Double Ferris wheel, but she's too small to get on. I think she broke into tears at least four times. At every turn she'd be told, "No." And I know how that feels. I used to go to dance bars when I was single.

Luckily, they sell cotton candy at the Midway. Sugar can be magic (for about five minutes).

And there are a few rides that are Char's speed.

She really likes the obstacle "rides" she can run through.

After all that exhausting Midway drama, I had to grab a loose meat sandwich. I love these things, and I hadn't had one at the fair before (it was really good). My meat odyssey continues!



But, there is one thing on-a-stick I won't be eating anytime soon.

Brrr.

That ends our first day at the fair, but we have one more day planned...

Last year's link.