Spotted on a Toy Shelf at the Salvation Army

 I have so many questions.

Am I Coming In Clear?*

I wanted to watch the Olympics in our basement this summer, but we cut the cable cord last January. Our Rokus are handling streaming duties, and the TV antennas upstairs bring in local channels, but the TV reception in the basement stinks.

Small antennas like this one do not work well down there. I could get channel 8-1, the HSN, and four different channels showing the same televangelist. Channel 13-1 (our Olympic channel) might come in if I stood in one spot with my arms raised like I was in a Mr. Bean skit.

While moving into our house, I discovered that the previous owner left behind a large TV antenna in the garage attic. It's the size of what you would have seen attached to a house in the 1970s. I suspect he placed it up there when the house was being built. There's no way that antenna could have fit through the access hole in the ceiling. 

I would have never ditched cable TV eight years ago. Back then I thought that worthless antenna was taking up valuable storage space. I was going to dismantle it with a bolt cutter and throw out the pieces, but I forgot. I'm glad I did. Now that attena is like finding buried treasure.

The previous owners also left behind a satellite TV dish on our roof and a nest of cables in the garage wall. I pulled the wires out and found the cable for the attic antenna with Daphne's help.

I connected the antenna to the cable that ran around the house and into the basement. Then I ran downstairs and did a channel search on my TV. Nothing happened because I forgot to connect a cable to the TV (in my defense, I was pretty excited.) I ran the channel search again, and I was watching Olympic volleyball in no time flat.

Looks "good!"

Alright! Go USA!

I began watching other channels when the Olympics were over. I had forgotten how much I like the programs on PBS and MeTV. A lot of those shows air when I'm either alseep or at work. I wondered if there was a way to record them without having a cable service's DVR. 

One affordable option is the Mediasonic ATSC Digital Converter Box. I didn't expect too much for $30, and I was pleasantly surprised. The Homeworx is a bit clunky, but it works. I can record and watch shows without any kind of a subscription. That's cool. I like it.

You have to provide your own external hard drive to store the programs that you record. I went with a Seagate 1TB drive. The Twilight Zone airs at 11:30 PM, but now I can watch it when I want. 

The Mediasonic instructions really are terrible, so thank goodness for the people on Amazon who answer questions and leave ratings. This converter box would be a converter brick without their help.

Svengoolie was airing The Beast Must Die (1974) on Saturday evening. I recorded that while we were watching Lego Masters upstairs. I watched the movie last night (spoiler alert: Dumbledore is the werewolf) and had a lot of fun. I enjoyed being able to fast forward through the commercials and rewind when needed. 

MeTV airs shows I haven't seen before, like Mannix and Cannon, and programs that I haven't even heard of before, like The Time Tunnel and The Invaders. All of these programs run after midnight, so recording them is the only way for me to see them on my "big screen." 

I've also been absorbing America's Test Kitchen, Cook's Country, and Milk Street on Iowa PBS. Food Flirts is a hoot. There are gems to be found on the Laff, Comet, and Mystery channels as well.

Is any of this necessary? Not really. I can find most of this stuff online through one streaming platform or another. 

Am I having fun? Absolutely. How else am I'm going to record Svengoolie? 

*Did you ever notice in Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory that the American actor playing Mike Teevee sounds a bit odd when he says, after being sent through the TV, "Am I coming in clear?" That's because he was hanging out with the British actress who played Veruca Salt, and her accent had crept into his own inflection. 

"People Who Enjoy Meetings Should Not Be in Charge of Anything." - Thomas Sowell

As seen in the living room this morning...

I think one of Charlotte's Squishmallows is having too much fun.

Switching Gears

Charlotte was all about Squinkies last Christmas.

She didn't really play with them very much; she was more interested in opening the package and finding out if she had a common, rare, or ultra rare Squinkie. They come with a color-coded list for you to check.

Char found an ultra rare Squinkie once, and she almost hit the ceiling. You would have thought she won the Powerball. She couldn't wait to buy more Squinkies and do it again. That rare-thing is a pretty good gimmick. It's a total lie, but it's a good gimmick.

I can't find Squinkies anywhere now (except under my car seats), so I think they were discontinued. That's okay because Char had jumped the Squinkies ship and landed into the Hatchimals camp. 

The Hatchimals aren't much different from Squinkies except that instead of being packaged in a Mystery Hut that you open, they come in an egg that you hatch. Char skipped reading the directions the first time we brought a set of Hatchimals home. She insisted that I had to hold them under my arms while I took a nap. I felt pretty dumb with these eggs incubating in my armpits. 

After 30 minutes nothing had happened. It turns out that is not how they are hatched at all. You have to the rub the shell's heart with your thumb until it breaks though it. 

Sheesh...

These also come with a "rarity guide", so you can see if you hatched something that is common, rare, ultra rare, or a limited edition. 

Seriously, what's the difference between ultra rare and limited edition? The answer is irrelevant because none of these things are worth anything in the real world.

No, I take that back. These things are worth real money right now. For months Charlotte has been asking for an egg carton of Hatchimals, and for months we have been telling her, "Maybe you should put that on your Christmas list." The egg carton was about $12 back in September, but since October the shelves at all of the local Targets have been bare. It is the same at Toys"R"Us. You can buy the carton on eBay, of course, but the prices are ridiculous.

Unfortunately for us, Char had picked one of the "Hot Toys" for this holiday season.

Daphne had a pretty good solution. She thought about buying a few small sets of Hatchimals, and putting them in a real egg carton. That would have worked. But then, out of the blue, I spotted these while shopping for wood glue at Walmart.

I quickly looked around to make sure no one else had spotted them. I took two excited steps towards the cartons, and then I stopped. I couldn't believe my luck! And I don't mean that in a good way.

Daphne had conferences at school that evening, and I had Char with me. How could I buy a carton of Hatchimals without Charlotte knowing? She is only seven; I couldn't distract her by leaving her in the car or somewhere else in the store by herself. I checked a few aisles to see if I had any students who were working there, but for once I didn't see anyone familiar.

So, I have an almost-impossible-to-find-must-have-toy-for-2017 right in front of me, and I have to walk away. I don't get to save Christmas. I don't get to be the hero. I get to be the guy who buys wood glue.

Then I had an idea. While Charlotte was looking at the little FlipaZoos (they're like a Squinkie that flips over to be a different Squinkie), I ran around the corner and took a picture of the Hatchimal cartons. I texted the pic to Daphne and told her which Walmart we were in. She could stop on the way home, and hopefully there would be a carton left.

In my excitement I had forgotten that Daphne's phone doesn't get a signal at work. She received my text about the same time she got home. Because Walmart is only four miles from our house, Daphne was willing to put her coat back on and go back into the cold night - what a trooper.

The conquering hero returned with her spoils 25 minutes later! We slapped a high-five in the kitchen. Go team!

P.S.

The next morning at breakfast Char asked me, "Dad, when is the next daddy-daughter night?"

"Next week. Why?"

"Maybe we could go back to Walmart? I think I like FlipaZoos now!"

Sigh... 

She's Makin' the Lists and Checkin' Them Twice

Here are our Christmas stockings. Charlotte took it upon herself to write our Christmas lists for Santa. Char didn't want any help; she was sure she knew what we all wanted.

Translations:

Char's List:

Squinkie Christmas
Squinkie Houses
A Squinkies Tree house
A Squinkie Carnival
Lots of Squinkie Sets
Lots of Squinkies
And a tortoise

Mom's List:
Dark Chocolate

Dad's List:
Meats
Beef

Both Daphne and I think Char nailed it.

Here's hoping you get what you want this Holiday Season!
(Maybe you'll get a tortoise...)

A Security Investment for the Future

This is Pinky.

You can often find him (yes, he is a boy) in the pictures of Charlotte because he is her best buddy. He sleeps with her, he eats at the dinner table with her, and often he is there when she takes her bath. He has been to Minnesota, South Dakota, and Missouri. He might have missed a few naps in the car, but he has slept with Char for most of her life. "Where's Pinky?" is usually the first thing I hear from the depths of Charlotte's rumpled bedcovers when I wake her at 6:15.

This is Hop-Hop.

You won't see her (yes, she is a girl) in many pictures; she spends most of her day on Charlotte's bed waiting for night time and a chance to get a little love. Although she came first, she has not bonded with Charlotte as tightly as Pinky has. I don't know why.

Hop-Hop was given to Charlotte when she was born, and when Char was old enough to recognize her surroundings, Hop-Hop became very important to Char. In fact, she was such a big part of Char's world that Daphne went to Target to buy a replacement in case the blanket got lost. Unfortunately, Target was sold out and the closest item for sale was a pink giraffe (enter Pinky).

I don't remember the exact day of the transition, but I do remember Daphne tapping my shoulder before I carried Char out to the car, "No. She wants Pinky to go with her to day care." Although Char couldn't talk at the time, she was pretty good at letting us know what she wanted.  Here's a video example. It's two minutes long, but you can see she pretty quickly that she wants a quilt that's on the bottom of a quilt stack.

Fast-forward to age four, and we now own two Pinkies.

One Pinky stays at day care (for nap time) and the original stays at home. Well, Pinky Monson is suppose to stay at home, but sometimes he has to go to day care, and sometimes the wrong Pinky gets into our bag when we're in a hurry to get home, and then sometimes someone drives across town to get the right Pinky in the right place. Even though the blankets appeared identical to us, Char could always tell the difference.

Years ago I went back to Target buy a third Pinky. I had the idea that I'd seal it up in a plastic bag, hide it in my closet, and then give to Char when she was old enough to move out on her own. Cheesy, I know, but that's me.

It reminds me of this comic by Phil Sloan.

The problem with that plan was I waited too long. Carter's "Just One You"/ "Mommy's Cutie" giraffe blankets have been discontinued. Check out what one eBay seller wants for one.

That price is pretty steep when you consider that this isn't a collectable. It's just a child's security blanket. I think this seller is banking on the chance that some little kid has lost their special buddy and the desperate parents are willing to pay anything to make things right.

This looks better. $23 is still too much, but considering supply and demand, the price isn't too over the top.

Funny thing is, when Charlotte actually leaves home, it going to be Mom and Dad who will need the extra security. Maybe I better save that Pinky for myself.

What a Bargain!

This morning I received an email from Nick Jr. alerting me to a great sale at the Nickshop concerning Bubble Guppies merchandise.

I just don't know what I'll do with all my savings.