Bug Update: Bump and Grind (part 2)

After I got home with my "new" bumper, Daphne drove into the garage with Charlotte asleep in her car seat. We can't move Char from the car to her bedroom without ruining her nap, so we crack the car windows and let her sleep as long as she can. But we don't leave her alone. I stay in the garage and work as silently as I can.

Thanks to Char's nap, I was able to dive right into bumper disassembly. In theory all I have to do is unscrew the bumper's eight nuts and bolts, but it's never that easy. Fifty-year-old car parts that have spent most of their lives outside are going to bad-tempered. And if they're from the Midwest, then you're also going to have deal with their rust issues.

After reading Roger Welsch's books on tractor restoration, here's how I approach cantankerous, rusty nuts and bolts.

1) Gently tap the rusty nut with a small brass hammer, and then use a wire brush to clean off as much surface rust as you can.
2) Spray the nut with penetrating oil. I use Kano Kroil. And then walk away for 15 minutes.
3) Try to tighten the nut first. This seems counterintuitive, but tightening the nut helps crush the rust that has built up between the threads, and you'll have a better shot at loosening it when you reverse directions.
4) Spray the nut again, and wait a few more minutes if you can stand it.
5) Begin turning the nut loose. If you get it going, and it feels like it's beginning to bind, try turning it in the opposite direction a quarter turn, and then go back to turning it loose.

It's been my experience that at this point most small nuts either come loose or break off. But bigger nuts and bolts may take to blowtorch heat or at worst a nutcracker.

While Charlotte slept, I quietly broke one bolt and loosened the other seven. Not bad. The rest of the broken bolt is in there:

Later that evening I spent an hour drilling out the broken bolt and tapping the hole with new threads.

Last night I was excited to combine my two bumpers. I decided to use the top bar and one of the guards from the donor bumper. Around 9:30 a chrome-plated bolt from my original bumper snapped, but the donor had a slightly pitted replacement that would work.

But by 10:30 I was about to blow up. The components just refused to work together. As soon as I got one piece in place, the others would jump out of line. You'd think I was working in Washington. That was funny the first few tries, but by attempts number nine, ten, and eleven I had stopped laughing. I hate going to bed after a garage failure, but the clock was ticking.

While gathering up my tools in anger, I realized what I was doing wrong. I quickly took everything apart, and then again started all the bolts in their respective holes, but by only one turn. The bumper was a wobbly mess, but I began to methodically tightened each bolt by just two more turns before moving onto the next. Five minutes later each bolt was tight, and the bumper was one solid piece. Why hadn't I thought of that before?

Right away I could see that the bumper looked much healthier, and its fit was better. I winced when I tested the trunk lid, but the lid didn't - for the first time in my life - scrape against the bumper when it was opened. Those annoying bar dents were gone, too.

Awesome! For the first time in months, I did my "I-can't-believe-that-worked-I'm-not-a-loser" dance.

To quote Daphne, "Not bad for twenty bucks."